Nude-model-Scott-brown

Meet Trump’s Ambassador to New Zealand


As news has come from abroad telling us that Trump has been leaking secrets to the Russians during meetings, New Zealand has waited eagerly for its own chance to hear some juicy secrets. While Trump may not be flying over here to spill his guts out to Bill English any time soon we may meet the man who will act as the intermediary for said spilling.

Lawyer and former Republican US Senator Scott Brown was first tipped as a possible candidate for ambassador to New Zealand and Samoa earlier in the year. A recent grilling by both Democrats and Republicans gave Scott Brown his first opportunity to discuss his views publicly since being nominated by Trump for the job.

Subjects ranged from our anti-nuclear stance to our involvement in the five-eyes group. He’s also interested in moving the USA’s trade partnership with New Zealand further up the ranks, as they’re currently third on our list of partners.

During the 45 minute hearing he also said he was looking forward to “getting a fair go” from the people of New Zealand.

A serious focus kept being dragged back to the building China is doing in the South-China sea, of which Brown reckons we’re doing a pretty good job of making our concerns heard about. When China builds missile racks we like to give them a bit of a stern word.

“They are fiercely independent – you can’t tell them what you want. You have to ask them,” He told the room.

Scott Brown had an unsettled and rough childhood, moving through 17 homes before he was 18. In his 2011 biography he detailed the sexual abuse he got as a 10 year old from a camp councilor who threatened to kill him if he told anyone.

Scott Brown Cosmopolitan centerfold ambassador

His mother was on the benefit and when he was 12 he was arrested for shoplifting. After that experience he said that was the last time he ever stole.

When he was 19 he joined the National Guard and spent time in the military for 35 years. During September 11 he was awarded an Army Commendation Medal for meritorious service.

At the age of 22 he dipped into modelling for a bit including a nude centerfold in Cosmopolitan. This stint earned him enough to pay for his law degree.

As a politician he focused on veterans issues, and did a lot of good for them, according to sources.

In 2010 as a state senator Brown got tangled up in support of waterboarding. However he’s tried distancing himself from this stating “I don’t support torture; the United States does not support torture”.

As a Democrat in Massachusetts Brown held an unusually high approval rating, for an area that is overwhelmingly republican. This ability to straddle the lines will almost guarantee his approval by both sides as the ambassador to New Zealand.

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